'Death-Obsessed' Student Implicated in Five Suicides

Hello I recently joined because I was researching this story and I wanted to see what people’s opinion of the story was. To be honest when I read the headlines I automatically assumed that Brandon (the individual who is the defendant in the lawsuit and the alleged facilitator) was a serious turd of a human being. Especially with the way the headlines were worded it seemed without a doubt he was guilty and was some sort of deranged manipulator who was pushing people into taking their own lives. Once I started reading further into the whole situation I began to change my opinion almost completely. I say opinion because this is my opinion and I don’t see myself as an expert in psychology or criminal law at all. This is just telling whoever is reading my own thoughts and feelings toward the situation. If you’re just kinda skimming the news there appears to be some pretty damning evidence to support the headlines. But if you can fathom this and I know it will be shocking to some, a lot of the evidence is taken completely out of context and is grossly exaggerated by the media to hype up the attention for this case.

Here’s some background info just in case you haven’t read a whole into it. Brandon Grossheim was a student at Truman State University which is located in Missouri. Brandon was also in a fraternity called Alpha Kappa Lambda. During about an eight month period,three members of this fraternity and one who individual who was friends with many in the fraternity committed suicide. They were all young men who were also students at the college. They are Alex Mullins, Jake Hughes, Josh Thomas, and Alex Vogt. First let me say what a tragedy for these young men to have passed away. I feel for their families and loved ones and I cannot imagine how difficult it was and is for them. I personally did not know any of the four young men, but from having read what their loved ones said in the aftermath of their passing it seems like the world was very fortunate to have them, and that they will be sorely missed.

Melissa Bottorf-Arey is the mother of Alex Mullins. Alex was the first suicide and understandably it devastated his mom. She felt that many people were responsible for her sons decision. She contacted the other families and Josh Thomas’ parents felt the same way. Together they filed a civil suit against the the university and the fraternity saying that their lack of help and intervention in the desperate time of need for the boys was a large factor in their decision to take their lives. They also filed suit against Brandon and asked for a jury trial on the charge of voluntary manslaughter for knowingly assisting in helping to facilitate self murder.

Something that caught my attention early is that it is not unusual that after one person commits suicide, that another person will follow in their footsteps and take their own life using the same method as their family member or friend. Sometimes it does not stop at two people, there have been instances of five to six members of a group to all make the same decision. When it occurs with three people it’s labeled as a cluster. I did not know that and someone pointed out that from this we can see that it is a well documented occurrence and not unique to this group of friends from Missouri. This was a point that Brandon’s attorney felt was important for people to hear and I can understand why. It’s difficult for me to explain but I felt that okay maybe this wasn’t solely unique to whatever Brandon was doing to manipulate or take advantage of his friends.

I’ll continue with some things that were outlined in the petition for the lawsuit. There’s a police report that Bottorf-Arey(she is the mother of one of the students who committed suicide and is one of the two people who petitioned for the court to charge Brandon) and her lawyer Gorosvky are using to allude that Brandon was a dangerous person and that people were scared of him. The police report stems from a phone call members of the fraternity made to police in which they made a request that Brandon no longer be permitted to live in the fraternity house. One could see how this could paint a negative picture of Brandon if his own friends and fraternity brothers did not want him at their home. But this was taken completely out of context. The reason they wanted him out was because they were concerned that he was going to take his own life. They wanted him to go get a mental health checkup. In their own words they were “concerned he was going to hurt himself”. Ian Rothbard was the fraternity class president and was the one who placed the call. He said that in light of what had happened recently the university was telling students to encourage people they were concerned about to get help. By calling the cops they thought that if Brandon saw the Police there he would be more inclined to not resist going for counseling.

In another part of the the filing motion they reference something that Brandon himself talked about and confessed to practicing. He said that he had his own “step by step” advice that he would share with friends when they talked about suffering from depression. Bottorf-Arey claimed that these were step by step instructions on how to commit suicide without fail. The thing is it’s just her belief of what she interpreted when she heard about his “step by step” counseling. There are no text messages, emails, letters, voicemails where you could clearly see Brandon telling someone how to commit suicide or even giving encouragement to do so. After her sons passing, she was able to access his facebook, his email, and she was given his cellphone. She went through all of his messages and to be honest I understand. I feel like any parent would hope to find something or at least let them glimpse into the minder that their child had leading up to their death. However, there was nothing at all that could be interpreted as encouragement or advice on how to take your own life. Brandon explained his advice was “make connections, seek opportunities, share the joy and happiness, move forward”. Friends of his who had talked with him flatly denied any notion that Brandon had malicious intentions.

Honestly that’s how the rest of this story pans out. People make wild assumptions and accusations about Brandon only to be uncovered as not true. Either that or there is a logical explanation for what he said or did, with many things being misrepresented or taken out of context. There is a lot though. Brandon had the number seven tattooed on him. This number was special to Alex Mullins. People claimed that it was freaky, borderline psycho that he would that. But then you learn that a whole group of friends did the same thing to honor their friend. So is everyone in that group judged the same way as Brandon. You might think that at some point the police would get involved as well and it’s true. For sure they saw some red flags. They questioned Brian and to be honest it seemed like the detectives or police felt sorry for Brandon even instructing him to call them if he needs counseling. Two police officers asked for Brandon’s help when one of their friends stopped taking his medication due to the trauma he experienced from the young men’s suicide. Why would the police ask someone they felt was a “death obsessed and cruel natured” to help their friend?

There are a couple things though. Brandon refused to take a DNA swab after police asked him to. He explained that he had taken LSD and had marijuana in his system and he was afraid the police would bust him. His use of LSD and marijuana is widely known amongst his close group of friends. He also failed a lie detector test. He said he didn’t understand some of the questions and he was suffering from ptsd. That’s what he said so take it for what it’s worth. Im kinda iffy on that. I don’t think there are any real strong conclusions you could draw from that. The only one who really knows the truth is him. Crazily enough there was even one more suicide associated with Brandon. A girl who lived across the hall from him and who he knew very well was found dead from what appeared to be a suicide and the last person to see her was guess who? Yup Brandon himself. This was like a smoking gun when it was made public. How much more do you need than that? I would have been one to stand up and say “Guilty!!”. However upon further investigation and autopsy it was revealed she died of liver failure not suicide and her health trouble was widely know about. But that’s pushing your luck to the fullest.

Finally I think the biggest thing for me was finding out that all four young men openly talked about their struggle with depression and it is well documented before they even met Brandon. Mullins had talked about his battle with depression and suicidal thoughts to all of his fraternity brothers. Thomas had tried to commit suicide by hanging once before, after a romantic relationship had ended. Vogt had also attempted suicide once before. It seems to me these guys struggles had developed considerably without anyone pushing them in that direction.

A friend of Brandon’s said he had a “f$@-?! Up Saviors Complex”. I think that pretty much nails it. I’m not gonna lie when you really read in detail some of the stuff yeah Brandon seems kinda like a kook. As far as being a cold hearted manipulative murderer who enjoys taking advantage of people when they’re in a weak or fragile emotional state, I just don’t see it. It honestly seems like he was a good friend and that he really did care and try to help. I think he suffered from seeing four of his friends commit suicide. I’m sure that would tear anyone up.

The reason I took so much time writing this mini saga out is after trying to find information about this case and seeing the headlines that pretty much have already condoned Brandon left a bad taste in my mouth. It’s as if the news didn’t die their due diligence and actually investigate. They saw the story and what attention and shock value it had and just ran with it. I honestly could not find one single headline that didn’t portray Brandon and some sort of grim reaper. For sure he has suffered for it too. He admits changing up the way he looks for fear of being recognized and harassed. People calling him a s@!+ bag to his face can’t feel too good. My biggest pet peeve or thing that gets my hate flowing more than anything is being accused of something you didn’t do. It’s the worst feeling when you know people have already passed their judgement and it’s not in your favor. You literally want to choke every single person. I know it’s a touchy subject and I really don’t wanna be that guy but my gut tells me I have to say it so I’m gonna. The mother Melissa Bottorf-Arey and the other parents are looking for a scapegoat. I know that the death of their child was probably devastating. However, that’s not an excuse to try and railroad someone. The whole time that she has been clamoring for this trial and pretty much demonizing Brandon, she could have called attention to the serious problem of mental health and the taboo it carries. I just can’t be a part of what she’s cooking up. She created a false narrative and ruined some people’s lives, and there’s just no evidence to back up what she’s saying. When I was reading about what she was saying concerning Brandon and listening to her talk about pretty much herself I don’t know I just know it’s not the right way. It’s easy for me to judge though I mean who am I? I don’t know her, I don’t know everything she’s been through. But I do know what healing looks like. The only way is through love and compassion. Honestly I invite you to look into the case for yourself and form your own opinion. Thanks for reading. Take care and if you need help with depression than I would implore you to seek out whatever help is available to you. I know there’s always someone looking to help.